


Aman

by Detavot



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 10:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21297776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detavot/pseuds/Detavot
Summary: Your lips formed the single word, yet it was too late.
Kudos: 5





	Aman

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies to the people out there wanting more chapters of Childish Games. It's a slow work-in-progress because it's not my preferred (or best) writing style, you'll have to wait a while for the chapters to be edited.
> 
> I felt like I had to do something to apologise, so...

A splash of crimson in the baby blue skies. Yes, yes; that would be the most accurate way to describe it. Clouds filled to the brim with the darker and lighter tones, shining with their vicious grins, tearing apart the calm sea without hesitation. The fragile yellow tones taking on a rich orange; the flames burning mightier with each second… If one were to bleed, I think, would anyone even be able to see it? If you did not bleed, were you alive?

Another way to describe it… A black rose which turns red as soon as you pluck it from the ground. Yes, yes; that was also a good way to describe such a concept. Beautiful in every shape, the change itself radical and yet almost familiar. A woman’s painted lips changing their colour, a cruel mistress leaving evidence at the scene of the sinful deed. What made the rose change its colour? Have you ever wondered about such a thing? A gravestone with a single bouquet of wildflowers, a bed of poppies ruined by a single dandelion. The examples could go on and on, the ideas behind each of them remained the same.

Ah, the monster under your bed creeps into your mind and controls your tongue. It finds its way into your bed and embraces you, as gentle as a lover and as ill-intentioned as a criminal; you just cannot help but rest your head on its knees like a child begging their mother to stay. Its nails scrape their way to your scalp and rub gentle, soothing circles. You find comfort in this gesture even while you feel its sharp nails digging into the sensitive skin--searching for the skull, wanting to get its hand on your soft, juicy brain. It never smiled at you. If you close your eyes, though, you can pretend that it did.

Does it matter who you are? To the monster, you are no more than an insignificant pebble--a disposable factor it is more than capable of replacing, a soldier who follows his commander’s death wish. You can never buy your way out of its clutches, struggling is out of the question. Do you believe your name, age, wealth or gender could make a difference? No. The only fairness this world has to offer is cruelty, the one principle which remains the same.

Speaking of… there is the saying: “The only thing that does not change is change itself.” Could you believe that there are fools who actually take those words to heart? It is quite obvious that those fools are truly distant with the world around them, living in a comfortable bubble which permits them to remain blind. Perhaps such a simple-minded cretin is reading these words this very minute. How horrifying.

Have you ever seen change up close? Of course, these are the people who will point out technological and/or scientific improvement as evidence of change’s existence; it is quite obvious their intellect is not nearly enough to even grasp the concepts they so readily praise. No, change is something that is much more complex than improvement. Attaining change is much like attaining the Heavens, gaining the ability to create ‘something’ out of ‘nothing’. If you were to know the science that you are so fond of, you would know that such a thing is simply not in the realms of possibility. Tell me, then, could a non-existent entity be an irrefutable principle?

Of course, now I would be throwing away the god or gods everyone is so quick to believe in. Were their words not enough? Three holy books--five if you count the Christians' need to edit their faith--with the same god’s words, and more mantras than you could count. Who knew how recently they had all been edited by a single power-hungry man? It was not as if a simple prayer could chase away ill intent, the only defence against such an attack would be the common sense people readily abandoned for their faith. Even if those gods existed, could one truly see perfection in them after reading these books and mantras? Could one see something that did not exist?

Ah, the line grows longer with each second… I wonder when I will be in the front.

I have so much regret and pain already, what would it truly cost me to have some more?

Do you wish to know the simple law behind the cruelty of this world? It was through vast and varying experiences that I came upon such information, it is a lesson that is worthless when I tell you now. Ah, why even bother? You will learn this lesson soon enough, there is no need to give you the answers so early on--especially when I know you will not value it. It is such a shame, truly. The monster you won’t realise is right behind you until the time is ripe… It is a shame you cannot see its face. Do not bother searching for it. It is always right beside you. You are just too pathetic to see it.

I plucked a single rose from the gardens, did you know? It is my one possession, the only weight I can carry. It is heavy. I can barely stand it. It was once a beautiful black; so deep I would get lost in the colour, so light I felt like I could fly. It took on so many colours, each as beautiful as the rest… Ah, it snowed far too early for my little rose. Sometimes I cannot tell whose it is, I think it surely couldn't be mine. The mirror is harsh, it never tells me lies.

Looking around me, I know that we all have our own story. I look into the gardens and see the greedy people pluck more than they need. I smile sadly and look the other way, just as everybody else does, as I know whom the frost shall bite first. I shiver.

Ah, how I wish for a fire... 

I fell to my knees far too late.


End file.
